Cheating/Betrayal in Relationship

During last Live Session on YouTube, a question was asked by someone on Cheating in Relationship. Although I had written an article on this topic before - https://www.astrosaxena.com/articles/infidelity, I happened to respond during session that I have some different views on this topic. It is because a few years have passed since writing this article and in this time, I have evolved in my views on this topic. So, let’s try to understand it –

Primary Thought – I feel that it is unfair to decide about someone’s nature, in any matter, as per chart as many children take birth at same time on same day at same place. We cannot say that all kids born with same or similar birth details will be cheats/infidels or highly moral/virtuous. Hence, I think it is unfair to decide it on chart basis. Person’s behavior can be a better indication which is based on his evolution level.

My understanding on Cheating – Let’s understand through example of Bhgvad Gita first.

Bhagvad Gita – Osho was talking about the practice of taking oath on Bhagvad Gita in Indian Courts before any trial. Osho says that Courts ask for this oath on Bhagvad Gita even in Murder Trials and if we look into Bhagvad Gita then it says that “no one kills anyone and no one gets killed”.

Osho says that if no one gets killed then why this murder trial in court? If no one can kill anyone then why we are prosecuting someone in court?

Then Osho replies that no one kills anyone and death never happens in this existence as things or people only transform from one shape to another, but it is someone’s intention or basic thought that he can kill another person that is wrong.

Please understand again; Divine Rule says that there is nothing like death but if X person thinks that he can inflict death on someone then that thinking is wrong and against Divine Rule and hence the trial is happening in court.

So, people like Osho say that it is actually not the act but the basic thought which is wrong and should be corrected because thoughts are prelude to any action. We cannot directly take any action. First we think about something and then we give energy and intention to that thought which result in any action. So, it is basically the thought which should be corrected.

Infidelity – Now, if we apply the same test to infidelity or any other act of our life then we may realize that real infidelity doesn’t happen only when two people become Physically or Sexually involved out of their relationship status but infidelity or cheating actually happens the day the first thought of infidelity creeps into mind and we start giving energy and attention to that thought.

Suppose I am in a committed relationship with X person and someday I happened to see a Y person somewhere and a thought started in mind that “I wish this Y person had been my relationship partner” then infidelity or cheating had already took place. Nothing might have happened at Physical or Sexual Level between myself and Y person and Y person here might be totally ignorant or unknown of my intention then also the cheating or infidelity has taken place because in my mind as I accepted that someone else can be better than my partner. Now, if I pursue Y person or not and Y person may agree or not and if the world comes to know about it or not, it doesn’t matter because my loyalty moved away from my partner.

Let’s understand that why such an importance to thought or mind –

1. As discussed, thoughts are prelude to any action. We cannot directly take any action. First we think about something and then we give energy and intention to that thought which result in any action. So, it is basically the thought which leads to any action.

2. In outer world, you can hide things or lie about your thoughts or actions but how you will lie to yourself? If I have cheated with my partner or if I even thought about cheating my partner then at least I am aware of it. I may be able to lie with the whole world and can hide this another relationship or thought of another relationship from everyone but can I hide it from myself? I will always be aware of that event or incident or thought of another relationship which has taken place.

3. Most importantly, we get connected with outer world through our body and this body is mortal in nature. It is going to die. Actually, it is going closer to death with every passing moment.  So, one day we are going to leave this body here only and all the actions which we did through this body will also be left here only. We will go to different incarnation with our mind and soul. So, all our thoughts and intentions which lead us to take those actions through body will go with Mind. And the Soul will also go with us, who remained witness to all those thoughts and actions. This is why; such importance to thoughts or intentions and to stay aware of thoughts and intentions.

4. Finally, insistence on only physical/sexual relation to constitute cheating or betrayal with partner only shows how much we identify ourselves with Physical Body. We only talk about soul but all we know is Physical Body as our identity. Hence, we focus on physical/sexual relation to constitute cheating or betrayal in relationship.

Hence for me, Cheating/Betrayal/Deception etc. or any act happens the moment such thought come into mind and we start giving energy and intention to that thought.

Thanks,